You are Reading my Blog. Welcome!

Well, welcome to my blog. I really don't have much else to say. I just do this because sometimes I have WAY too much time on my hands. Well, you can read the Random Story or go to my friend's blogs here: Mythical World, I M Eve, Life of a Bookworm, Fiery Pigs DO fly, Maxellion's Blog. And here are my brothers': The Vortex, Typer's Twilight. And here is my sister's: Free Writer. And here is the link to my other blog: The force of chao. Well, that's about it here. I really don't see why your reading about my life but hey, it's your time.

Saturday, March 20, 2010

Random Story number 51!

The only regret is that this isn't the 50th story post :(.

Once back in Megaville, I went back to my apartment. My family had moved here a few months ago. I opened the door and was almost killed. I was hit by a body, and my mom started hugging me so tight I could've sworn I broke a few ribs. After the hugging, she let go. "Where have you been?" "Well... kinda... was .. protecting the earth from bunnies of doom." "Again? You've been gone for months! Think about your grades! This will depend on getting you a good high school! I mean, you could've..." And she's off again. I thought. Oh, looks like she's almost done. Better start nodding. "Okay, I get it." I said, nodding. "Good. I'm glad we had this talk." I walked up the stairs and fell into bed, and sleep came instantly.

The next morning, I woke up to the sound of: "Get up! Let's go! You'll miss the bus!" I stumbled out of bed and put on fresh clothes. The, I walked out into the cold November air. (It is November at the moment. In the story.) I saw the bus pulling away from the curb. "No! Wait! Bus! Stop!" I started to chase the bus. I managed to get to the next stop before it left. I climbed on and found a seat next to Fang. "Hi!" he said cheerfully. I grumbled. "Oh... grumbling." "Yep." I said. "I don't like grumbling. It does not fit my life!" I sighed. This was going to be a long bus ride.

Once at school, I went to my locker and got my books. "So... what do you have for first period?" I asked him. "Um.. math." He sighed. "Well, at least we have it together." he said. "You'd think a group of heros who save the world every other day would get a few days off of school." I said. "I know man." said Fang. We walked off to math. "So if you subtract that sum to that product.." the teacher was saying. "You will be sure to figure out question 13. on the test tomorrow." "Hey, Fang." I whispered. "We already read this chapter. Think you could, speed things up?" He smiled. "Let's go." he said. He closed his eyes and concentrated. Everything around us was a blur. I looked at the clock, which was going really fast. Fang opened his eyes and looked around. "Did it work?" he asked. Then the bell rang. "Be sure to do your homework assessment." said the teacher. We left.

After history, it was time for lunch. "Mmmm..... food." I said. "So," said Dexter. "Let's get down to buisness. Anime and Blossom were kidnapped by Mandark. I placed a tracking device on him before his lab blew up, and I have found out that the entrance to his lair is here in Megaville." "Just him?
This won't be a big challenge." said Fang, taking a bite of his sandwich, which had blood hidden inside it. "Actaully. it isn't just his lair. An entire socity is hidden there." "So we just have to figure out how to get there." i said. "Yep." said Dexter. "How about we start at the dump? I'll meet you there after school." "Sounds good." said Fang.

1 comment:

Ben said...

tl;dr.

I think you should start revising your story, now that you've laid down plenty of it. Here are some tips for your revision:
1. Start a new paragraph when a new character starts talking. It keeps dialogue clear. It's also an official Rule of English, so you have to do it anyway.
2. Introduce your characters one at a time, and give the reader time to get to know them before throwing even more characters at them.
3. Try to avoid being overly silly.
4. Think of a real title, and make the story a little less random.
5. Every sentence should do one of two things: advance the story or show character.
6. Make sure your characters ALL have distinct personalities; even if you have a great lead cast, a bunch of nobodies sitting in the back can muck up the story.
7. Try to always clearly establish when you change settings, including the time or the location.
8. Always read back through what you've written, and fix mistakes and inconsistencies.
9. Don't worry about the length of your story; quality over quantity.
10. Have fun. If you're not having fun writing it, no one will have fun reading it either.
11. Always know what's going to happen. Follow an outline so you never end up having to cast around for something to happen next. Make sure you have a clear beginning, middle, and ending in mind.

Start a new revision with those tips in mind. Post sections as you complete them, and I might actually read it this time.